By Sara
I spent the past week in the company of Bob Geldof, Jane Goodall and 4,000 other inspired fundraisers, humanitarians and philanthropists (at the Association of Fundraising Professionals’ international conference in San Diego). I heard amazing stories about how one turn of events in an individual's life motivated them to become a successful Force for Good. Whether they were 9 or 90 years old at their crucible moment, these folks showed me the quality of light I need to shine. I realized that it is high time for me to take stock, and make a clear plan (or at least an outline) for how I am going to make a real impact on the things I care about.
For most of my life, I've looked for the Utopias out there, the cutting-edge best projects, etc. And along the way, I've done some wonderful things and met hordes of fascinating people. I've categorized myself as a secondary leader - ready to step up if no one else does. But what I'm seeing now is that I'm ready to be a primary leader - ready to make the change, not just find another example of it, be a part of its success, and add it to my internal encyclopedia. It's time for me to start sharing all the gifts that have been passed my way, and to serve in a very meaningful an
d direct way. It is no longer about the learning adventure: now it's about the impact.
Of course, good parenting is about both the adventure and the impact. And this continues to be my top priority. But if I am going to honor myself and my children, then I need to set the example that I hope they will someday follow.
The primary goal of my last position as development officer for a growing organization was to foster a culture of philanthropy. Over the course of the past 9 months, I realized how critical this goal is, and that it is not a simple achievement. More importantly, if there is any chance of me being successful at that anywhere, it will be due to my own ability to achieve that in my self. It's about concentric circles of influence – about spiraling-UP.
As Ajay and I step into what must be the messiest and trickiest era of our shared life (18 years and counting since meeting in 1990) to date -- raising three young children with or without traditional schooling support (yet to be decided), a drawn-out transition to a new bioregion and community (three rental homes in one year while looking for an architect to design the house we need built tomorrow), and now no apparent income in the short term-- all our organizational and personal flaws are completely exposed. At this juncture, there is no room for failure - and yet it's everywhere. If I/we am/are able to come out of this well, my/our values, goals and actions must be in total alignment with one another. We have a tremendous opportunity here, and we both know it: If we're going to get it together, the time is now.
When I accepted the position of Development Officer, I knew I was choosing to make a career move from "Trail-Maintainer" to "Trail-Blazer." What I didn't know was how big a leap that was at that moment -- and this on top of the transition from Stay-at-home Mom to Chief Bread-Winner. I knew what good trails looked like: I had hiked on many, narrow and wide. I knew that no one had ever trained me how to expertly wield a machete, but hey, it's a machete, not a spaceship - how difficult could it be to cut a path through the jungle? Little did I know.
Well, another thing that I've learned over the years, and particularly in India (and for those of you who don't know, Udaipur is the city on the edge of Kipling's Jungle Book) is that low-tech solutions are deceptively simple in appearance. The skills and experience needed to thatch a roof, for example, are not insignificant. It takes time and practice to make one that works and lasts. And, of course, to do it quickly it takes a master.
Last May, I was looking for a position that could pay me to hone and improve my talents and skills in fundraising. I wanted to learn to do it well, to be a master. However... I accepted a different kind of position. And as fate would have it, that decision has taught me SO MUCH more than I probably could've learned anywhere else at that moment. More than that, it forced me to see at which points of contact my life is thoroughly out of whack.
Fostering a culture of philanthropy needs to start within me: in my life, myself, my family, my friends, my community, my work, my world. My success as a fundraiser over the years has come from the knowledge that there is a plenty of money out there connected to people who want that money to Do Good. And since I know lots of deserving causes, making the connections is obviously a good line of work for me. But "a culture of philanthropy" is so much more. For starters, it means s l o w i n g d o w n to thank the multitudes of YOU out there - friends and family who have supported me and Ajay on our journey to be good humans and raise our children well. For your gifts -in cash, in kind, and in honor of: THANK YOU!!! We are so fortunate to be connected to such a supportive and caring community. The next step is to begin to inform you of the impact your gifts of time, friendship and money have had on our family and our shared world. I know that I don't begin to tell you enough. I’ve been moving at jet-speed, but I value walking. It's time to prove that.
For now, I have two short stories to share about the baby steps I've taken in towards aligning my goals and actions. Both happened in India last year.
I spent the past week in the company of Bob Geldof, Jane Goodall and 4,000 other inspired fundraisers, humanitarians and philanthropists (at the Association of Fundraising Professionals’ international conference in San Diego). I heard amazing stories about how one turn of events in an individual's life motivated them to become a successful Force for Good. Whether they were 9 or 90 years old at their crucible moment, these folks showed me the quality of light I need to shine. I realized that it is high time for me to take stock, and make a clear plan (or at least an outline) for how I am going to make a real impact on the things I care about.
For most of my life, I've looked for the Utopias out there, the cutting-edge best projects, etc. And along the way, I've done some wonderful things and met hordes of fascinating people. I've categorized myself as a secondary leader - ready to step up if no one else does. But what I'm seeing now is that I'm ready to be a primary leader - ready to make the change, not just find another example of it, be a part of its success, and add it to my internal encyclopedia. It's time for me to start sharing all the gifts that have been passed my way, and to serve in a very meaningful an
d direct way. It is no longer about the learning adventure: now it's about the impact.Of course, good parenting is about both the adventure and the impact. And this continues to be my top priority. But if I am going to honor myself and my children, then I need to set the example that I hope they will someday follow.
The primary goal of my last position as development officer for a growing organization was to foster a culture of philanthropy. Over the course of the past 9 months, I realized how critical this goal is, and that it is not a simple achievement. More importantly, if there is any chance of me being successful at that anywhere, it will be due to my own ability to achieve that in my self. It's about concentric circles of influence – about spiraling-UP.
As Ajay and I step into what must be the messiest and trickiest era of our shared life (18 years and counting since meeting in 1990) to date -- raising three young children with or without traditional schooling support (yet to be decided), a drawn-out transition to a new bioregion and community (three rental homes in one year while looking for an architect to design the house we need built tomorrow), and now no apparent income in the short term-- all our organizational and personal flaws are completely exposed. At this juncture, there is no room for failure - and yet it's everywhere. If I/we am/are able to come out of this well, my/our values, goals and actions must be in total alignment with one another. We have a tremendous opportunity here, and we both know it: If we're going to get it together, the time is now.
When I accepted the position of Development Officer, I knew I was choosing to make a career move from "Trail-Maintainer" to "Trail-Blazer." What I didn't know was how big a leap that was at that moment -- and this on top of the transition from Stay-at-home Mom to Chief Bread-Winner. I knew what good trails looked like: I had hiked on many, narrow and wide. I knew that no one had ever trained me how to expertly wield a machete, but hey, it's a machete, not a spaceship - how difficult could it be to cut a path through the jungle? Little did I know.
Well, another thing that I've learned over the years, and particularly in India (and for those of you who don't know, Udaipur is the city on the edge of Kipling's Jungle Book) is that low-tech solutions are deceptively simple in appearance. The skills and experience needed to thatch a roof, for example, are not insignificant. It takes time and practice to make one that works and lasts. And, of course, to do it quickly it takes a master.
Last May, I was looking for a position that could pay me to hone and improve my talents and skills in fundraising. I wanted to learn to do it well, to be a master. However... I accepted a different kind of position. And as fate would have it, that decision has taught me SO MUCH more than I probably could've learned anywhere else at that moment. More than that, it forced me to see at which points of contact my life is thoroughly out of whack.
Fostering a culture of philanthropy needs to start within me: in my life, myself, my family, my friends, my community, my work, my world. My success as a fundraiser over the years has come from the knowledge that there is a plenty of money out there connected to people who want that money to Do Good. And since I know lots of deserving causes, making the connections is obviously a good line of work for me. But "a culture of philanthropy" is so much more. For starters, it means s l o w i n g d o w n to thank the multitudes of YOU out there - friends and family who have supported me and Ajay on our journey to be good humans and raise our children well. For your gifts -in cash, in kind, and in honor of: THANK YOU!!! We are so fortunate to be connected to such a supportive and caring community. The next step is to begin to inform you of the impact your gifts of time, friendship and money have had on our family and our shared world. I know that I don't begin to tell you enough. I’ve been moving at jet-speed, but I value walking. It's time to prove that.
For now, I have two short stories to share about the baby steps I've taken in towards aligning my goals and actions. Both happened in India last year.
The first was Christmas 2006. Ajay, Satya, Violet, Tara and I had been living in Udaipur, Rajasthan. Christmas Eve we hung a star from the ceiling and placed a round market basket on the bare floor beneath it. In the morning, there was a doll-child in the basket surrounded by gifts for all. After the kids had opened all the presents, I called Manju (our live-in Hindi teacher and nanny, who had been respectfully watching their excitement from a distance) to come over and look in the basket.
There, beneath the colorful silks, was a small pouch. I told her it was for her. She was surprised and pleased. She opened it, peeked inside, smiled joyfully, closed it, looked at me, thanked me, excused herself and put it safely away in her room. It was a gold necklace probably worth at least 10 times the monthly wages we'd paid her. It felt so good to give it. We said goodbye to Manju several short weeks later and headed off to South India as a family. I imagine that that necklace became a significant part of the dowry Manju brought to her marriage the following summer. In my keeping, it was bringing me no particular joy. Now, it is a source of continued inspiration for doing more.
The second story took place in Auroville. Some of you know that I did a one-week training in Liquid Flow, a guided above- and below- water therapy technique (kind of like under-water Tai-Chi). That was an amazing class. Earlier that month (before deciding to do the training), Ajay had gifted me the time to experience a session for myself. The practitioner was fabulous, and I had swirling, mermaid visions of pure joy and boundless possibility. That makes sense for a water lover like me. At the end of my training several weeks later, I offered a session to Sunny, the talented, dedicated, and inspired Korean Mom we were sharing a house with. The closing position in this session is often likened to a mother cradling a child in their arms. When we were done, Sunny was crying, and she thanked me open-heartedly. For the first time, I felt that I had actually given someone a real gift that had come directly from me. It was a transference of respect, love and possibility. This was a turning point for me.
These simple experiences were incredibly empowering. I realized that I actually had something to give 1) of value and 2) of myself. Of course everyone who volunteers and donates time and or money knows this joy. But somehow it had not hit home for me.
Last night, Ajay and I began a values clarification process. What do we care about and how are we affecting change in those realms? Where do we give our time? Where do we give our money? Where can we do both and benefit on other levels, e.g. expose our children to Forces for Good?
The top of my current list looks like this:
1) Raising Good Humans named Satya, Violet and Tara - One resource worth more of my time and attention: Child Honouring, founded by Raffi Cavoukian, singer, author, ecology and children's advocate.
2) Spreading the Joy of Home Birth Options - A recent documentary by the unexpected advocate Ricky Lake, The Business of Being Born should be viewed by every prospective American mother and father (and the rest of us too!).
3) The Continued Pursuit of a Just Food System on multiple levels - neighborhood, national and global. - In the US, the Community Food Security Coalition is doing work in DC and on the ground to make this happen.
4) And I suppose I'd really like to do more water-therapy training. There are many versions - Watsu, WaterDance, Dolphin Dance.... etc. A beautiful art that I encourage you to experience! See your local hot springs for details...;-)
Thanks for tuning in. - Sara
